The Tailor Made Salvation Suit

Went down to the salvation store one day
You know, the place with the pretty windows
And the pretty people who looked pretty much alike

Sat down with the pretty people and listened to the clerk,
A pretty man with straight teeth
And..............................a crooked smile

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

Hat size?
Seven and an eighth you say
How about six and three quarters?

Doesn't fit?
Work at it, son. Work at it
Look at all these folks around you”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

Shirt?
Fifteen and a half-thirty three, you say
I think we just may have one fourteen-thirty two left in stock

Are you sure it doesn't fit?
Don't breathe so hard, son. Please don't breathe so hard
Now put some money in the plate”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

Britches, son, gotta’ get you some britches
You look like thirty-thirties to me
You say you're thirty ones?

Whaddya’ mean, 'These britches don't fit,' Bub?
Don't get testy with me, sonny boy
These britches fit every man, woman and child in this place”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

Son, I'll tell you one thing for sure
Socks will be easy
You know.....one size fits all

Young man, you're becoming difficult to deal with
Look at all these nice folks around you
Do you hear any of THEM complaining about the size of THEIR socks?”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

Let's get on to shoes, son, you're holding up the line
You say, size nine
That's fine

Oops, the nines went out the door with a group of malcontents
They just went walking down the street
Anyway, son. We're all sevens here now. We're all sevens”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

What's that you say, son
How long does it take to fit into something that doesn't fit?
It takes time, son. You'll get your money's worth

Does anyone here ever do anything?
We're fitted just right for sitting
That's doing something, don't you think?”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

How long's it take to learn to say something that isn't right?
Watch yourself sonny, you're gettin' close to home
Back off, you hear.....back off!

We talk and talk and talk
About what?
You ever heard of theology, sonny? You ever heard of theology?”

Smiled through that crooked smile and said
"Come'ere, son, got something just for you
It's the tailor-made salvation suit
We give each new recruit

You know something, sonny-boy
Maybe you can't afford what we sell here
Didja’ ever think of that?

Somebody along the way has filled you full of cliches, son
Like..... "talk is cheap"
You'd better go now, son...."Time is money"

Well I turned away from that crooked smile
And walked on out the door
Went to find the malcontents
I knew that they had more


© 2002 Phil Dillon